Our "Us" Story
It all started when I thought my husband and I were the only ones who weren’t prepared for parenthood. Then, when I began working as a Relationship Counsellor, I realised most couples were in the same boat:
- Planning for the birth, but not for the weeks and months afterwards.
- Not knowing what new parents could really expect in terms of life and relationship changes.
- Not finding out about all the stuff that everybody’s going through but nobody talks about!
- Rushing to get back to our old, before-baby idea of “normal”, thinking that’s what we should be doing.
- Arguing more because we didn’t know how to approach our disagreements as parents, not just as partners (there’s a difference!).
It was messy. We were disheartened. We became so focused on the problems we started losing sight of each other. And this was at a time we thought we’d be closer together than ever!
We found there was a lot of information and support for pregnancy and birth, and a lot of information and support for parenting, but that there was a huge, huuuuge parenthood information and support gap in the middle.
We fell into the gap. Deep.
We blundered blindly, stumbled into some swamps, and sometimes we wanted to give up.
But we pushed on and finally found our way back to solid ground – and each other. We became "us" again. A new, stronger and deeper, version of us. I want a "stronger and deeper" beginning for new families that they don't have to work so hard for!
What we Discovered:
The transition into parenthood doesn't happen overnight. Some parents take a while to grow into their new mama or papa roles.
Partners don't necessarily go through the transition at the same time as each other. One partner might be "catching up" on the other one. That's normal.
We discovered that when we approached our issues as both partners and parents, we were able to work things out more smoothly. The times we couldn't agree, it didn't matter so much in the scheme of things.
And we found when we were happier as a couple, our kids were much happier and more settled too.
We discovered that the journey was much, much more important than the destination...
And that big journeys begin with small steps.
That's our story, our journey. What's yours so far?
If you'd like to know more about my professional journey, you can read why I am becoming known as the Parenthood Pioneer.
If you'd like to know the steps to navigate your own journey, you can find them in my book Becoming Us, 8 Steps to Grow a Family that Thrives.